Does anyone know more about charities that will help cancer patients pay for their hospital bills? I know they exist, I'm just having a hard time finding them. My brother is doing not so well monetarily after his surgery because his insurance wouldn't cover it all and his work isn't giving him paid time off for his recovery.

I've held off on saying this for a while because I know a lot of you really like her, but I was filled with so much rage when I saw this that I just have to get this off my chest.



I can't fucking STAND Lady Gaga. It's uneducated self-entitled twats like her who inspire white girls everywhere to aspire no higher than being a snobby cunt. There is nothing original about her. She is not a fashion icon. She's doing the same shit that TONS of other musicians have been doing since the 80's, but since she ~writes her own music~ she feels entitled to the ranks of a very serious ~*ARTIST*~ the likes of which this world has never seen. Because the world and western culture has definitely been changed significantly with such catchy tunes as:

1. Just dance, gonna be ok, da da doo doo just dance.
2. Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my, poker face.
3. Let's have some fun, this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.

As far as I'm concerned, if you're coming out with the same shitty unoriginal pop tracks as all other pop acts are, it doesn't really matter if you wrote it yourself or not. Shit music is still shit music, no matter who wrote it.

And finally, if you're not a feminist or think feminism is all about men-hating lesbians, then you're FUCKING RETARDED. Lady Gaga needs to remove the disco stick shoved up her cunt and open a fucking book.

I'm leaving tonight for the MCR gig tomorrow. Or maybe later than that. Or maybe tomorrow morning. I don't really know, I haven't decided yet, nothing feels just right yet. ANYWAYS. I'm super excited ♥

I DON'T REALLY KNOW WTF IS GOING ON I'M REALLY CONFUSED PORQUUUUUUE BUT APPARENTLY I JUST GOT INVITED TO A FREE ~*~EXKLOOSEEV~*~ MCR GIG AT THE ROXY THIS SATURDAY.

Members of the MCRmy,

As a thank you for being loyal fans of My Chemical Romance for so
long, we’re inviting you to be the first to register for
MyChemicalRomance.com. This means that you’ll be able to add your
thoughts on MCR’s blog posts, get your own profile at MCR.com, and
more features coming!

You have also been chosen to join My Chemical Romance at the ROXY in
Los Angeles on either July 31st or August 1st for a free private club
show.

You will be given a unique code to claim one pair of tickets for one
of the two shows. That means that it can only be used one time. Do not
post this anywhere, or someone may use your code before you do. Note
– this offer is only for a pair of tickets. Travel or hotels (if you
need them) are not provided – just the tickets!

Your unique code: **********

To claim your ticket to one of the shows, register for the site, here.


There are only 100 pairs of tickets to each show, so reserve yours
right away. Once they’re gone, they’re gone. Good luck!

SO YEAH. I'M REALLY FUCKING CONFUSED BUT KINDA INSANELY EXCITED RIGHT NOW. I HAVE TWO TICKETS RESERVED FOR SATURDAY. THIS E-MAIL CAME IN MY SPAM FOLDER. WTF WTF WTFFFFF.

.....dude.

DUDE.

There are already faggy little Twatlight fans in line for the Twilight panel TOMORROW at Comic Con.

What the FUCK?!

Also, I am wearing this shirt tomorrow.

PROJECT EURASIA INTERNAL DOCUMENTATION
FINAL PHASE RECOGNITION SCENARIO

THIS DOCUMENT IS CLASSIFIED INDIGO ARCHIVE QUARTET.
STANDBY PLAN BRAVO NINER GRAN AJEDREZ FINAL PHASE IS GO.
HUMINT RESOURCE MOBILIZATION HAS DEPENDENCIES ON USB RECOGNITION KEYCODE ACQUISITION FROM DROP LOCATION. KEYCODE UTILISATION WILL INDICATE THAT UNITED STATES OF AMERICA RECOGNISES NEW UNITED STATES OF EURASIA. RECOGNITION WILL TRIGGER MP3 DOWNLOAD OF RESOURCE MIKE UNIFORM SIERRA ECHO//UNITED STATES OF EURASIA FOR ALL ACTIVE HUMINT RESOURCES.

PRIORITY FLASH: FAILURE OF UNITED STATES OF AMERICA TO RECOGNISE UNITED STATES OF EURASIA BY 20090721:1830 BST / 20090721:1330 LOCAL STATION TIME, WILL INITIATE PROJECT EURASIA / GRAN AJEDREZ (BRAVO NINER) LOCKDOWN CRISIS LIMITATION MODE. THE RESISTANCE WILL BE MOBILISED.

DOES UNITED STATES OF AMERICA RECOGNISE NEW UNITED STATES OF EURASIA?

TO ACKNOWLEDGE RECOGNITION, ENTER USB UNLOCK CODE BEFORE 20090721:1330 LOCAL STATION TIME. IF USB ENTRY CODE IS NOT ENTERED BY 20090721:1330 LOCAL STATION TIME, UNITED STATES OF EURASIA WILL NOT BE RECOGNISED.>

EURASIA MUST NOT BE RECOGNIZED! THE RESISTANCE MUST BE MOBILISED!! GOD DAMMIT SOMEONE GET TO NYC AND DESTROY THAT DAMN USB!!

I don't update as much as I'd like to but life has been pretty slow for me lately.

The past week has sucked though. I got really sick starting on Monday and it's only really ceased up now. Fever and body aches, the whole works! And it's summer! WTF! And to top it all off, I severely fucked up my back on Thursday just by sleeping in my crappy old bed. Like, it was so bad that on the first two days I literally could not stand for more than a minute and could hardly work. I was in so much pain that my mom gave me the vicodin she had left over from her almost-surgeries a couple months back. Two of those only worked for about 2 hours (>.<) Anyways, I've been feeling better now, just pretty sore. My parents bought me a brand new bed and mattress set today so hopefully that helps!

I really don't like the fact that I got sick in the summer. I know that I caught it from a friend at my brother's party last weekend (he got it too, probably worse than I did, and got prescribed an expensive swine flu medication XD) but still, this is generally the time when I'm the healthiest. The past two years I've been getting sick for long periods of time (refer to old posts, but it's been for 1-2 months at a time in the fall/winter) and I don't like the idea that my immunities are so shot and I'm not yet 20. I've been seriously considering starting the Master Cleanse. Basically, it's a detox diet where you're supposed to drink nothing but a drink mixture of lemon juice, maple syrup, cayene pepper, and water for 10 days along with a salt water flush (figure it out) each night. I've met two people who have done this diet before. One was a girl in one of my classes last year who, on her 5th day, looked like she was ready to keel over at any minute and appeared to be on the verge of tears every second from how hungry she was. The second was my friend Donica who admitted it was difficult but was in nowhere near as bad a shape as the other girl. I tried some of the drink and it's actually not as bad as it sounds, it just tastes like a spiced watered-down lemonade. I know it would be really intense but I want to give it a try. I don't think I'd go all out on the first time so if I do it I'm also going to incorporate soft fruits into the diet. I've never done anything like a liquid diet before so I don't think it's something I can jump right in to on the first try.

So have any of you ever done this diet before or tried a detox like it? Have you read some obscure medical journal that says all people who try this diet mysteriously die within 2 years? Any and all info if welcome while I'm still researching ^^

In concert news, I have tickets to see The Killers twice this summer in Santa Barbara and San Diego but I think I'm going to skip on their show at the Hollywood Bowl. The tickets are $125 (!!!!!) and the venue is entirely seated so I don't think it's worth it. Howeverrrr, Franz Ferdinand just announced a gig at the Hollywood Palladium in August and I'll most definitely be grabbing tickets to that on Friday! ♥

I've been listening to a lot of The Smiths and Silversun Pickups recently. It's really good to see that SP has achieved a lot. Carnavas was a great album that took a while to get noticed and I'm just as impressed with Swoon.

I leave you with a shirtless Morrissey:


My biggest regret in life is that I was not born in London in the 1960's so I could have spent my teens and twenties as a British punk in the 70's and 80's. I actually get quite depressed when I think enough about how I'll never be able to experience that (>.<)

I know it's really short notice but does anyone want to meet me at Disneyland tomorrow? I'm meeting smileysquid in the late afternoon but I think I'll be heading there earlier to just walk around and study all the little things I've always wanted to look at more closely but never had the chance to before.

If you want to meet up, leave a comment and I'll give you my number if you don't already have it ♥

Looks like LJ suspended ONTD temporarily just to get LJ working again.

I don't even know what to say really.

Peace, MJ. You ARE the King of Pop and there's no doubt you'll be remembered for generations to come.

I think the whole world just stopped for a while. Also looks like MTV will be airing MJ all night long.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGJAJHSDJXNAJKSK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE KILLERS WILL BE AT THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL ON SEPT 16TH AND THE COX ARENA ON THE 18TH WHO WANTS TO GO WITH ME?!?!?!?!!?!?!

Stemming from my phone conversation with psychicherz...

Poll #1414222 Pregnancy Nightmare Poll
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 16

Which would be worse:

Good god, where had my mind been? I hardly know myself. I'm trying to get myself settled in here but it's been difficult trying to get myself to adjust to living back at home. I still can't get over the fact that this all feels so temporary. Even unpacking is such a chore, when both times I've moved into my dorm I've always had all my unpacking done by no later than the day after. Here it is now almost two weeks later and I've only yet finished my closet as I'm dodging the slew of hastily opened boxes shoved into a corner of this room that is far bigger than I'm used to. I feel lonely and restless here, and it's all I'm compelled to do to get out of the house as much as possible.

Even if I have nowhere to go, just driving around is something that puts my mind much at ease. I've been driving for almost a year now and I've yet to understand the sentiment of people disliking driving. It's a task, with a start and a finish and an allotted time that it should take you to complete, and within this allotted time you have nothing to do but to think or to listen. And because the task itself is often simple enough that you can finish it without much trouble, it leaves your mind open to think all those things that you don't seem to have enough time to think in the rest of the day.

Uh oh, escapism is looming...

I needed to use the car the other day to deliver job applications so I dropped off my mom at work in this strange part of Poway. Old Poway Village, I think it was called. "Old" my ass. Sure the buildings all had that old design look to them but the whole part of town looks like it couldn't have been more than two years old. Either that or it just went under some serious refurbishment. Hell, the road looked like it had barely been driven on!

( Time is never worth my time... )

I really want to get back into the swing of updating. It's weird being so active on LJ but hardly making appearances on my own journal =/

[May 9th, 2009] Keane (Hollywood Palladium - Hollywood, CA)

They were just...magical ♥ ♥

It's kind of hard to believe that it's already been 5 years since I first heard them. I was watching VH1 at about 2:00 in the morning and they were given a quick snippet to talk about their debut album. That's the first time I saw the video for "Somewhere Only We Know." I don't think any band has hit me so hard so fast, not that I can remember. It wasn't a slow progression of "Oh, I should check them out." No, it was more like, "I love this band. RIGHT NOW. LOVE."

Of course all my favorite bands hold a special place in my heart, but Keane's place is extra important and extra sacred. They really helped me get through a difficult rough patch when I was younger that no one else could help with. It's kind of hard to explain, but I used to get entirely unwarranted panic attacks that would erupt out of nowhere that caused me a lot of sleeping problems and distress. I couldn't tell anyone because I was too scared to and because I didn't even know what was happening myself. The only thing that helped was me locking myself away in my room and listening to Keane, which always calmed me down. Ever since then, I've always gotten the same feeling every time I listen them: everything will be ok, because there's always hope. This song...I'm not sure I've ever felt it so much as I did that night, and I'm positive I've never understood it as much as I do now.

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go Somewhere only we know?

What is Keane for me, really, besides electrical currents sent through metal wires and shapes and pushed out through plastic parts. Live, all of this amplified, except procured through beings of mass powered by atoms and cells and energy. All of this barely exists, and yet it has a soul I can feel so tangibly. And only I can understand this soul in a way no one else is capable of doing. It's just me, and them, all barely existing, truly somewhere only we know.

'There's a whole bunch of entities waiting on the other side, saying "How wonderful that you're here! You come so rarely! We're so delighted to see you!"

They're like jewelled self-dribbling basketballs and there are many of them and they come pounding toward you and they will stop in front of you and vibrate, but then they do a very disconcerting thing, which is they jump into your body and then they jump back out again and the whole thing is going on in a high-speed mode where you're being presented with thousands of details per second and you can't get a hold on [them ...] and these things are saying "Don't give in to astonishment", which is exactly what you want to do. You want to go nuts with how crazy this is, and they say "Don't do that. Pay attention to what we're doing".

What they're doing is making objects with their voices, singing structures into existence. They offer things to you, saying "Look at this! Look at this!" and as your attention goes towards these objects you realise that what you're being shown is impossible. It's not simply intricate, beautiful and hard to manufacture, it's impossible to make these things. The nearest analogy would be the Fabergé eggs, but these things are like the toys that are scattered around the nursery inside a U.F.O., celestial toys, and the toys themselves appear to be somehow alive and can sing other objects into existence, so what's happening is this proliferation of elf gifts, which are moving around singing, and they are saying "Do what we are doing" and they are very insistent, and they say "Do it! Do it! Do it!" and you feel like a bubble inside your body beginning to move up toward your mouth, and when it comes out it isn't sound, it's vision. You discover that you can pump "stuff" out of your mouth by singing, and they're urging you to do this. They say "That's it! That's it! Keep doing it!".

We're now at minute 4.5 and you speak in a kind of glossolalia. There is a spontaneous outpouring of syntax unaccompanied by what is normally called "meaning". After a minute or so of this the whole thing begins to collapse in on itself and they begin to physically move away from you. Usually their final shot is that they wave goodbye and say "Deja vu! Deja vu!".'

I just wrote a big update post and just as I was finishing it I went to a different tab to look at something else.
I came back to this tab and it was all gone and I don't know how.
I'm so pissed.

Ughh and I really wanted to update so here is like 10% of my real post. FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU

-I started watching Buffy back on February 16th. I'm now into season 6 of Buffy and season 3 of Angel. HOLY JESUS FUCK.

-I'm taking educational leave. Moving back home. Yeah I know that deserves more explanation but FUCK YOU LIVE JOURNAL.

-I got my first credit card. BAD THINGS.

-BAD THINGS like I bought the tokidoki Celebrazione Graziosa.

-Comic-Con is going to be REALLY FUCKING SOLD OUT LIKE ALMOST ALREADY HOLY MOTHER OF JEEBUS.

-I had crazy dreams and Kirsten helped me interpret them and basically life is going to be all crazy and shit.

-DRUGS.....arebadmmkay

-KEANE ON SATURDAY WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! ♥♥♥

I SWEAR this entry was legit and made sense and was coherent and had less caps about 10 minutes ago. So to reiterate, FFFFUUUUUUU LIVEJOURNAL. FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU WITH SOMETHING HARD AND SANDPAPERY!!!!!